Lying and trust

This may be difficult to believe for some, but that warm feeling we get when someone tells we are trustworthy is not universal. There are, of course, those who feel overwhelmed and do not understand what others see in them to consider them so worth their trust—and there are also those who see it as a triumph... a different triumph.

There are people for whom lying is a way of living, enjoying, playing—and yes, they are playing with people, but one would say they do not care. When they lose someone's trust, they do not feel sorry in the sense we normally understand of "oh, no, the other one loves me a bit less now", but instead in the "oh shame, I've lost a dumm one to fool". They have not lost a friend, a lover, a spouse, but a victim.


We could certainly start questioning the reasons why those people are that way and whether there is some way to change them (provided it would be the right thing to do). I do not know the remedy. Neither do I know whether they are happier or less happy than those who feel great when seen as deserving others' trust, because this trust implies a responsibility that can be heavy at times and may also bring some stress under certain circumstances... stress that is unknown to the liar.

Every single step towards gaining another person's trust means, for this liars, a roller coaster which is just a bit higher... another meter... and yet another one... And the higher they get, the higher the adrenaline level too, the bigger their excitement, unconscious of any risks. And so, life is just a big fun park. The fact they do not have a real home to come back to, or they lack profound friendships, is no worry for them, because the day they are not allowed to get on this rollercoaster they will simply look for another atraction. Who cares. There are lots.

I keep giving opportunities to many people whose behaviour is clear to me. Call me naïve, trusting, optimist. I give opportunities, though, up to one point. From that point on, sometimes I just play the role of a believer without believing anymore, questioning every look, every smile, every favour, every presence and absence. But in the end, I pull those people out of my life. One cannot have enough good role models in life, to start with. And last but not least, I just want authentic people around me. More and more. And just those.